Every introvert has encountered one.The person who can turn a simple “Morning!” into a 45-minute TED Talk.

You made the mistake of asking how their weekend was. Now you know what they had for breakfast, what their neighbour’s cousin said back in 2012 and the entire history of their school days .

Meanwhile, you’re standing there, desperately searching for an escape route. So, how does an introvert survive someone who just won’t stop talking?

1. Deploy the polite nod. The universal introvert survival technique. Nod occasionally, smile when appropriate, make enough eye contact to appear alive. You don’t actually have to understand what they’re saying.

2. Master the “Oh Wow”. Two words with endless possibilities. “Oh wow!” works for almost everything. Their holiday story? Their complicated family drama?, Their detailed explanation of why they changed Internet providers? It’s conversational camouflage.

3. Stop asking questions. This is crucial. “Really? Why?”. You have just opened another conversational portal and now you’re trapped. Instead, use statements like “That sounds like quite a weekend. Then hope they take the hint.

4. Perfect the exit strategy. “I’d better get back to work“ or “I need to make a phone call. “I’ve just remembered I have something to do.” Introverts have an entire imaginary list of urgent tasks ready to use at a moments notice.

5. Accept that sometimes there is no escape. Eventually, you may find yourself trapped beside them at a party, on a train or at work. At this point, just smile, nod and say “Oh wow.” and quietly leave your body.

Sometimes surviving an unstoppable talker isn’t about finding the perfect response. It’s about protecting your precious social battery until you can finally get home, shut the door, and enjoy the beautiful sound of absolutely nobody talking to you.

Written by Siân Alison

Related to the Introvert Survival Series.

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